EPISODE ONE: ROB VS. LYDIA
TOM: Hi I'm Tom. LUKE: Hi I'm Luke. TOM: And we're here with The Euroquizion Games, a brand new hilarious gameshow podcast themed around the Eurovision Song Contest... and have we got someone for you to meet. ROB: Hi I'm Rob, I think I'm the world's biggest Eurovision superfan but who knows - I've been trying to get you two obsessed with Eurovision for what almost a decade now and apparently it hasn't worked because here you are trying to knock me down a peg or two. TOM: Well you've been talking about Eurovision year in, year out and I mean we quite like it, don't we Luke? LUKE: We do, yeah we do. TOM: We don't mind Eurovision that much but we're just sick of hearing it. Every month you're like 'ooo these have got into Eurovision'. LUKE: Not to mention, between the three of us it's all been a bit extra because we have gone to Sweden where we saw a semi-final of Melodifestivalen and the final two years later. TOM: So it's not like we don't indulge your hobby. ROB: But the fact that you two even know what the word Melodifestivalen means shows that I am doing something right. TOM: Well we're sick of it, we're sick of your bragging, we're sick of you talking about Eurovision all the time and we want you to prove for the ultimate time that you ARE as knowledgeable about Eurovision as you say you are. ROB: I'm a little bit nervous about this... I think I know a lot about Eurovision - when I get into something, I become ever so slightly obsessive (I think that's probably an understatement) but I fancy my chances, let's just say that shall we? TOM: So what's the plan, Luke? LUKE: Plan is - you're going to be challenged in a number of different rounds against a number of other Eurovision superfans. TOM: Each episode, there'll be a brand new Eurovision superfan for you to take on and you've got to prove you know more than them and it could be anyone and I mean anyone - we've got some surprise guests for you this series. ROB: Now I've never been good with confrontation so I'm already a little bit worried about this. TOM: And this is your chance to prove, once and for all, you know all. ROB: And will you two then just fully embrace it? You will let me ride on this Eurovision journey with me? TOM: Hey - if so, if so, maybe I'll consider coming to a Eurovision with you. LUKE: Do you know what - I'll join that bandwagon, yeah I'll consider it too. ROB: I'm gonna take that as a definite, right? Because i'm gonna win this. TOM: But for that to happen, you need to win over half of the series. ROB: Deal. TOM: Are you confident though? ROB: Deal, am I confident? Yeah, yeah sure - why not? I like my chances, I think anything you throw at me I'm up to the challenge. LUKE: Check this guy talking a big game. TOM: I know, I know - you're really, you're really that confident are you? ROB: Oh yeah, it's gonna be easy. LUKE: I'd just like to point out - this is what we've been dealing with for about nine years. TOM: This is the sort of arrogance we're on about. ROB: It's all based on fact, don't you worry about that. TOM: Well we'll see, we'll see - shall we introduce you to today's contestant? Let's do it. So today's contestant is 20 years old and from Russia. She's currently living in London and in 2018, or in the last couple of years, she's been to her first ever London Eurovision Party. The one Eurovision act who she thinks was robbed of victory was Mahmood with Soldi, and she met Dina Garipova in Russia back in 2013 - she was barely able to even talk to her. Today's contestant is Lydia. Hi Lydia, how are you? LYDIA: I am great, how are you doing? TOM: I'm all good, I'm all good - now tell us why you think you are a Eurovision superfan. LYDIA: I mean that's not exactly what I think, that's what all the people around me think. TOM: Alright, alright. LYDIA: I didn't actually want to respond to your email before but when i told my friends about you, they were like 'you have to go, you are the biggest fan I've ever known' and I'm like okay, let me try. TOM: You've been pushed into this? LYDIA: Kind of, yeah. TOM: I love that, I love that. LUKE: So Lydia, why do you love Eurovision? LYDIA: It's just something that makes me happy. I love watching it, I love the Eurofans, the energy that it brings - like literally everything about it is great. ROB: For a start, Lydia - it is great to talk to someone who is as obsessed about Eurovision as i am... even though you're my competitor today, but what's your first, what's your first Eurovision memory? LYDIA: My first Eurovision memory would be my country winning Eurovision 2008. I remember that really vividly. TOM: So do you always support Russia at Eurovision or do you have any other countries you like to support? LYDIA: This is a weird thing because I do not support my country whatsoever. TOM: Ah alright, so what country is it? LYDIA: My go-to country is Italy. ROB: I mean you've had so many good songs to pick from over the years so... LYDIA: Oh yeah ROB: Oh i'm so jealous. TOM: Rob, what's your favourite Italy song just... ROB: Favourite Italy song, I think Soldi has to be up there and also uh Il Volo as well. Potentially a lot of people say they were robbed in 2015. LYDIA: I absolutely agree, 2015 is my favourite Italy song as well with my winner. TOM: So finally, before we get into all the games, I want to hear about this crush you had on Francesco Gabbani. LYDIA: I had? I still have it though! TOM: Oh you've still got the crush on him? I wish, I wish I could have got an interview with him or something - hooked you up with him on air. LYDIA: Oh that would be great though. TOM: Well I tell you what... if you win this episode, I will do all I can to get in touch with Francesco Gabbani and see whether i can get a video message from him or something, does that sound good? LYDIA: Okay that's just motivating me even more, okay thank you. TOM: Cool, cool - right let's get into it.
TOM: So there's going to be three rounds. The winner of each round gets an extra 10 seconds for our endgame. Now the endgame is just an ultimate Eurovision quiz. So both of you get 60 seconds just as standard, but for every round you win throughout the show - you'll get an extra 10 seconds, alright? So Luke, what is going to be our first round? LUKE: The first round is going to be... 'In the Shower with Luke'. TOM: Oh it's one of my favourites! Now in this round, Luke has recorded himself singing in the shower. LUKE: I do apologise Lydia for what you're about to hear. TOM: In each clip, he's going to be singing a different Eurovision song. Now it's your job to tell us the name of the song and the name of the artist. If you answer within five seconds, you get the maximum 10 points, for the following 10 seconds, the points will reduce by one point each second. If there's no answer within 15 seconds, you'll receive zero points. Now i'm gonna go one by one so we'll start with Lydia and then we'll go to Rob and then we'll go back to Lydia and then back to Rob and both of you receive three different audio clips each - so Lydia, this first one is for you, let's see how you do.
♪ Goin' home, I'm a runner in the night. Turnin' back with another chance to make it right. I know where I went wrong, I've been away for far too long. On the track - I'm a runner in the night ♪
TOM: So there was no answer there, Lydia - do you... LYDIA: This is embarrassing, I could not understand it. TOM: That's alright, it's alright. Rob, do you think you know? ROB: I'm, I'm with Lydia - I had absolutely no idea what that was. TOM: That was Ryder with 'Runner in the Night'. So this next song is for Rob, Rob this is your first song - are you ready? ROB: I'm ready. TOM: Let's see what Luke's been doing in the shower.
♪ Tell me that i've got it wrong? Tell me everything will be okay before I fall. Tell me they'll play my songs ♪
ROB: Is it Frans, 'If I Were Sorry'? TOM: No, no it isn't.
♪ Tell me they'll sing the words I say when darkness falls ♪
ROB: Oh no, oh no - this is embarrassing. TOM: I mean your time is definitely up, but if you can get it it's good. ROB: Oh no, I know the answer and Lydia's probably going to get it right but I... I just can't give you the correct answer. LYDIA: Oh Lydia's not going to get it right, like she knows the song but she... TOM: So do you want the answer both of you? LYDIA: I just can't remember what the song name is. ROB: Yes please. LYDIA: I just don't know what the song is. TOM: So the song was Tom Dice with 'Me and My Guitar'. ROB: Oh of course it was! LYDIA: Oh yes, oh my gosh - I love this song, how could I not hear it? TOM: It was on the tip of your tongues, I know it was. Right this one's for Lydia.
♪ Come on, come on, come on. Love is all over me. You are the only one living in my fantasies, in my dreams ♪
TOM: Any idea, Lydia? LYDIA: (laughs) I... I feel like I'm an imposter. TOM: You're not, you're not an imposter - don't worry! We don't mean to make you feel like that. LYDIA: Something is going on. TOM: (laughs) Rob thinks he's got it, Rob? ROB: I think... is it Vanilla Ninja from 2005? TOM: No i don't think so... LUKE: No. TOM: Wig Wam 'In My Dreams'. ROB: Wig Wam, that's the one. TOM: Yes. LUKE: Do you know what it is Lydia? You're... you're not a fraud or an imposter - it's probably just my voice. TOM: I mean it is Luke in the shower! LUKE: It is me in the shower so. TOM: Right Rob, this is your second go - neither of you have got any points yet, i'm just gonna point that out.
♪ We're gonna dream us on our way in a world where we are not meant to stay. Together we can make it, oh, the secret is you, it's love ♪
TOM: Shout it out if you know it. ROB: Uh Nadine Beiler 'The Secret is Love'? TOM: Yes, correct - I'm gonna give you that one, it might have been just out of time but i'll give you one point. ROB: Thank you very much. TOM: I'll give you one point. ROB: I mean I'm surprised as much as... as everyone else here is that I got that one correct. TOM: Lydia, would you have got that? LYDIA: I would have got the name. I don't remember the artist name. TOM: Ah but... but still you'd have got, you'd have got there - see? LYDIA: Yeah. TOM: Right, so this is your final chance to get any points in this round, Lydia. Believe me, me and Luke are rooting for you - we need you to get, we need you to get a point come on. LUKE: We're on your side. TOM: Here it is.
♪ Say yay yay yay! Come on and raise your battle cry! You are the one who never dies! Hurray! Sing it lalalala! Go on singing lalalala! Keep on climbing over hills! Right now... ♪
LYDIA: Oh I know, I know - um. TOM: Yeah. LYDIA: This is a 2016 Finland song, uh, what was the name? I remember Finland 2016. TOM: Come on, come on! Do you want me to play it again, will that help? LYDIA: Um I'm trying to remember what the name is. TOM: I'm gonna play it one more time, Lydia and give you the chance. LYDIA: Okay.
♪ Say yay yay yay! Come on and raise your battle cry! You are the one who never dies! Hurray! Sing it lalalala! ♪
LYDIA: Um uh Barei 'Say Yay!'? ALL: Yes yes. LUKE: Well done. TOM: Right I played it a second time so I'll also give you one point. ROB: Well done Lydia. LYDIA: It's at least something. TOM: Yeah we're very happy with you, very proud of you. Right Rob, it all comes down to this. You need to get the next one right.
♪ Shady lady, I'm gonna strike like thunder. ♪
ROB: It's an easy one. Shady... Ani Lor... Ani Ani Lorak - 'Shady Lady' Ukraine 2008. TOM: Great, how many points? LYDIA: That's just unfair. TOM: So i think you got five points there. LUKE: You got five points. TOM: Five points. ROB: Now to be fair to... LYDIA: Congrats Rob. ROB: Thanks Lydia. To be fair to to you, Lydia, I think you would have easily got that in five points as well. That's just how the... how the clips have fallen but I'll take, I'll take the win but i think you would have definitely got that one right as well. LYDIA: I am absolutely embarrassed. TOM: You shouldn't be. You shouldn't be embarrassed. I can't tell you how hard this is as a round. LUKE: Lydia, to be honest if anyone should be embarrassed it should be me... like I'm the one that like was singing in the shower and not very well. LYDIA: You have a great voice, don't say that. TOM: Now what no one knows yet is that uh me Luke and Rob all lived together a few years ago and we had to deal with Luke singing in the shower all the time. ROB: So you could say Lydia I had a slight unfair advantage because i have heard... Lydia: There was an advantage. ROB: I have heard that voice singing in the shower before. LYDIA: I'll take one extra point for that. LUKE: Oh go on then. TOM: Unfortunately that would still mean Rob wins, I'm sorry, I'm sorry - but I believe you can pull it all back in the next round. All he's earned is another 10 seconds, you can still earn another 20 seconds so you're fine, you're fine.
LUKE: Game two is 'The Commentator Said It'. TOM: Ah, I mean I know I say this about all the rounds but this is one of my favourite rounds - but I will say this is incredibly hard so don't expect to be getting all of them right. So in this round... in this round, Luke will read out various quotes from the BBC's coverage of Eurovision. You must tell us which act they were talking about. So each of you get three different songs each, again we'll go in... in turn order, so it'll be Lydia, Rob, Lydia, Rob, Lydia, Rob and each round consists of three different quotes talking about the same act. If you answer after the first quote, you get three points. After the second quote, you receive two points. After the third and final quote, you receive one point. Now all of the songs are linked by the same year - we're not going to tell you what year that is but if you get the answer to one of them right, then it means it should help you as you get further on in the game - okay? LYDIA: Yuh-huh. ROB: Ready to go, although as we've seen so far - if we get any points, it'll be a miracle. So let's see how we both get on. TOM: Are you ready? LYDIA: Yeah absolutely. TOM: Cool, Luke - what is the first quote?
LUKE: "She is the Eurovision darling, she's all anyone's talking about."
TOM: Do you have any ideas, Lydia? LYDIA: Um i'll go for the second quote. TOM: We'll go for the second quote, okay.
LUKE: "The song is beautifully staged and I hope it does well tonight."
LYDIA: That could be anything. TOM: That's linked with the first one so she's the Euro... Eurovision darling and the song is beautifully staged. LYDIA: She's Eurovision's darling - what i'm thinking first is the Valentina Monetta of... would it be her? TOM: No not her. ROB: Good guess though, good guess Lydia. TOM: So are you ready for the third and final quote? LYDIA: Let's try to get one point.
LUKE: "Austria hasn't won the competition for 49 years".
TOM: So it's an Austrian act because Austria haven't won the competition for 49 years, the song is beautifully staged and she's... LYDIA: Oh my god, would it... is it Conchita Wurst? TOM: It is Conchita Wurst and just so there's no bias Lydia, what was the song? LYDIA: Uh 'Rise Like the Phoenix'. TOM: It was. There you go, you get one point so that's how this game works - alright? Rob, are you ready for your first one? ROB: I'm ready... so Lydia's already got a point in this round. TOM: Yes. ROB: So I really need to up my game. TOM: So you do need to get the points going.
LUKE: "Now on paper this should be wildly annoying, they're dressed as the Teletubbies".
ROB: Oo um can i guess, I'm gonna guess. TOM: Yeah. ROB: Uh I can't remember, it was Iceland - is it polkapunk? Ponka polka something or other? Polka oh no. TOM: We we need we need the name of the act and the name of the song. ROB: Oh um alright the song is... is the song called 'No Prejudice'? TOM: It is called No Prejudice. ROB: I'm gonna... it's something like polkapunk, isn't it? Can I have half a point? TOM: We'll half the point. LYDIA: I know the name, can i get the point? TOM: Lydia, what do you... what do you think it is? LYDIA: It's Pollapönk I think. TOM: Yes it is. Right we'll halve your points Rob, so you get one and a half points. ROB: Okay. TOM: So Lydia's on one and Rob is on one and a half. Back to Lydia.
LUKE: "Now this one's parents did everything right".
TOM: This is a hard one, I'll give you that. LYDIA: Oh oh oh. TOM: Ooo? LYDIA: Um it's Belgium, Alex... Alex... um what was his name? The song is 'Mother'. TOM: No no not that. LYDIA: No? TOM: Do you want the second one? That's a good guess for a first quote, believe me. LUKE: Yeah good guess actually yeah.
LUKE: "I don't know how much flutes cost in Slovenia, but she never lets it out of her sights."
LYDIA: Oh well let's see if it's Slovenia. Um I um I don't remember the name uh the... the name of the song is 'Round and Round'. TOM: Yes yes. LUKE: Yes. LYDIA: Um... she participated in this year's Slovenian selection. TOM: Oh do you know, do you know the name? LYDIA: You know was it Tina something? Um. TOM: You're so... it was something Tinkara I remember. TOM: Do you think you'll get it if we read you the third quote? LYDIA: No no no no. TOM: No it's not that, it's not that. ROB: I i think, I think seeing as Lydia's done so well there - I'm gonna be generous I think. I think you should give that to her because I know the song like Lydia but i don't know the artist either - it's Tina something, I'm sure it is. TOM: So it's Tinkara Kovač. ROB: Ah. LYDIA: There it is. TOM: There you go. ROB: You were so close. LUKE: So close. TOM: We've given you two points there Lydia. LYDIA: I'll take it, I'll be generous and I'll take it. TOM: Right so we're back to Rob, bouncing back to Rob. ROB: Can we take some points off Lydia if I now don't get this one right? TOM: No no that is not how it works. LUKE: Absolutely not, now we're rooting for Lydia here Rob yeah!
LUKE: "Imagine a sort of cut-priced Justin Timberlake, if you will".
ROB: Right, can i guess? TOM: Yeah yeah, of course you can. LYDIA: This is easy. TOM: Oooo. ALL: Oooo. TOM: Oh alright. LUKE: Alright Lydia. ROB: Alright Lydia, wait your turn. Uh, I'm gonna say uh Teo 'Cheesecake'. TOM: Yes. LUKE: Oh my god. TOM: How did you get that? LUKE: Yes. LYDIA: That was so easy though. TOM: Wow I'm amazed still, right do you want to read out the following quotes from Teo - Cheesecake? LUKE: Yeah the following quotes after that was... "not even any circus skills to cheer this up" and "read it for yourself, it's actually called that - I didn't make it up". TOM: So that was a whole three points there, Rob. LUKE: Well done. TOM: So Lydia, you need to... you need to get three points I'd say. LYDIA: Oh the pressure is on. TOM: Under pressure yet again. Are you ready for your next one? LYDIA: Yes. LUKE: Alright. TOM: Here's the first quote.
LUKE: "Lyrics include shake what your mamma gave you - it's essentially a feminist anthem".
LYDIA: Cleo and Donatan - 'We are Slavic'. ALL: Yes. LYDIA: I love this song. LUKE: Yes well done. TOM: So you've got six points in that round, so we're now bouncing back to Rob - he really needs to get this right. ROB: So how many do i need? TOM: So you need... I mean you've really confused things by having half a point - I'll just put that out there - but you need one and a half. ROB: Okay. TOM: Okay? ROB: Okay.
LUKE: First quote is this... "She's come for the last three years in the semi-finals representing San Marino".
ROB: Oh Valentina Monetta... LUKE: Oh my god. ROB: With oh um oh... which song. TOM: You know we need it Rob. ROB: I mean she's had so many songs. Um it begins with a c, uh oh no no no no - um it's like, it sounds like chrysolite or something like that. LYDIA: Can I get this? ROB: Give me another quote and I'll try and think of the name of the song.
LUKE: "This year, miraculously (and I mean that) she's made it into the grand final".
ROB: Oh what was the name of the song? Oh go on Lydia, I'm not going to get the points - I'm going to forego this round. LYDIA: 'Maybe'. TOM: Yes it was Maybe. LUKE: Well done. TOM: Well done, so that means Lydia wins that round with six points and rob had four and a half. That was a very good round though, what do you think to the commentator said it? LYDIA: I redeemed myself. TOM: You did redeem yourself. ROB: I honestly... I think we both did better than both of us expected in that round. TOM: I am proud of both of you. LUKE: Yeah they're very impressive on both of these. TOM: Yes, yes so shall we go into the next round? ROB: Let's.
LUKE: The next round is... 'What's the Next Line?' TOM: Luke will read out one line of lyrics from a Eurovision song, you simply need to say or sing (I mean we'd prefer you to sing, I'm not gonna lie). ROB: Are there more points on offer if we sing? TOM: I think well I'll give you an extra point for each one if you sing it. ROB: Okay. TOM: Is that, is that fair Lydia? Are you happy with that? LYDIA: Oh wow, alright. TOM: Yeah alright uh you simply need to say or sing the next line. Uh you're both gonna get five different songs and you get a point for correctly singing the next line. I'm going to stick with one person and go through all five. ROB: Okay. TOM: So Lydia, I'll give you the choice - do you want to go first or second? LYDIA: I'll go second. TOM: Okay so that means Rob is going first. You ready for your first one? ROB: Yes i am. TOM: Okay, Luke...
LUKE: "And we don't have a thing to lose, no matter what they say or do, i don't want nothing more..."
ROB: I'd love to sing it but honestly I'm trying to think what the next line is. LYDIA: I wish i would have gone first now. TOM: Do you know it, you know it then Lydia? ROB: Yeah i'm gonna pass so so go on Lydia, for no points. TOM: For no points yeah. LYDIA: Our love is untouchable. LUKE: That's correct. TOM: Yes it is. LUKE: Kristian Kostov with 'Beautiful Mess'. ROB: Of course it was... LUKE: Representing Bulgaria in 2017. ROB: I am a beautiful mess in this particular episode so far. TOM: Right, next song for Rob.
LUKE: "This is a zeal from above and it can say it all, this is a fever they can't take away, this is a fever they can't take away, this is the sound of, the sound of..."
ROB: Surely, I'm gonna sing it, surely it's... the sound of silence. ALL: No. TOM: Lydia, do you know that as well? LYDIA: I don't know that one. TOM: Don't know that one, Luke what was it? LUKE: The next lyric was "the sound of our hearts". ROB: Oh Compact Disco? TOM: Yes. LUKE: Hungary 2012. ROB: It's on my iPad, if anyone has them still. TOM: Rob, here's your next one.
LUKE: "I can't go on, I can't go on..."
ROB: Oh is that...? TOM: That's it, that's it. ROB: Cos you look so freaking beautiful? TOM: Yep. ROB: Come on. TOM: I mean it's when you look this freaking beautiful but we'll give you that. LUKE: That was Robin Bengtsson 'I Can't Go On', he represented Sweden in 2017. TOM: So here's your penultimate song, Rob. ROB: Okay.
LUKE: "Come on everybody let's sing along, and feel the power of a song..."
ROB: I know the song, so it's Estonia 2001 - the winner that year. Can i have the line one more time please? LUKE: "Come on everybody let's sing along, and feel the power of a song..." ROB: I ah this is gonna be a guess uh "come on everybody and clap your hands"? TOM: No it wasn't. LUKE: The next lyrics were "come on everybody, let's feel the spark that always stays within our hearts". ROB: So close but yet so far. TOM: So you've only got one point so far Rob. ROB: There's no need to rub it in. TOM: Or two, did you sing it? ROB: I did sing... ask Lydia, Lydia do you think I did sing the one i got correct? LYDIA: Which one was the one? ROB: It was uh Robin Bengtsson. TOM: I'll take your word that you sung it so i'll give you two... you've got two points. ROB: Thanks very much. LUKE: And also just so we know, Rob did get the year right - that was Estonia in 2001 and the act was Tanel Padar and Dave Benton with 'Everybody'. TOM: Yes. ROB: Dave Benton, the first black winner of Eurovision if you want any more facts. TOM: Nice, nice - so this is your final chance at points before the endgame Rob. ROB: Okay. TOM: It's quite a lot going on... going for you on this. ROB: Yeah come on. TOM: So let's see whether you can get it right.
LUKE: "And i will dance for you all night, tell me have you ever been to magic land, tell me have you ever seen the magic dance?"
ROB: I mean it's only when you hear Eurovision lyrics spoken that you realise quite how ridiculous some songs are and I have absolutely no... I'm gonna guess, oh this is definitely someone crazy like Serhat. I don't know the line. TOM: What's the next line? ROB: I don't know. TOM: Are you not having. guess? ROB: "Because you'll find me and my magic hat". I have no idea. LUKE: Lydia, do you think you know? LYDIA: I mean knowing Eurovision, that could be the actual lyric. TOM: It could have been but do you know the answer? LYDIA: I have no idea, I have no idea. LUKE: Right so the following lyric to "tell me have you seen the magic dance" was "na na na na na na na". ROB: So it was Serhat! LUKE: Go wild... no! Go wild dancers. LYDIA: No it wasn't. Rob: Oh wild dancers! LYDIA: Oh! ALL: Yes. ROB: I thought it was going to be 'Say Na Na Na'. LUKE: No. TOM: No. LUKE: No it was Ruslana with Wild Dances. TOM: So at the end of that you've got two points Rob. ROB: Okay. TOM: So Lydia, you could still really win this. ROB: Yeah Lydia you've got 10... 10 points on offer here if you sing all the answers so you got a good chance. TOM: You've got a good chance, we're really rooting for you as always - are you ready for your first one? LYDIA: Yes.
LUKE: "Retribution you were warned, once i'm transformed, once i'm reborn..."
LYDIA: You know i will, "you know i will rise like a phoenix" pretty sure. TOM: Yes, was that was that singing? LYDIA: I forgot to sing it. TOM: Do you want to sing it? ROB: Oh it's too late now. TOM: Alright we'll go with one point, one point. LUKE: Well done Lydia. TOM: That's correct. LUKE: That was of course the incredible Conchita Wurst with Rise Like a Phoenix. Right Lydia, are you ready for your next one? LYDIA: Yes.
LUKE: "We're gonna live like it's our last night alive and we're dancing till the morning light".
LYDIA: Gonna have to pass, I don't know this. LUKE: Do you want me to say it again for you Lydia? LYDIA: No i'm pretty sure I don't know it. TOM: Don't know it. Okay, what was that Luke? LUKE: That was Ryan Dolan 'Only Love Survives', he represented Ireland in 2013. LYDIA: I'll be skipping the song forever so... LUKE: And the lyric that follows that was "And even if the sun don't rise in the end, only love survives". ROB: What a, what a lovely message from Ryan. TOM: What a lovely message, next one. LUKE: This one is going to be interesting, I'll tell you that much Lydia - are you ready? LYDIA: Barely. TOM: Great confidence, like it! ROB: Fighting talk!
LUKE: Right here we go, "He's a bucka-mhm-buckbuckbuck-mhm boy, Bucka-mhm-buckbuckbuck, I'm not your bucka-mhm-buck-mhm-buck-mhm..."
TOM: I love it, Luke - love it. Lydia? LYDIA: Can I get it again so I know what I'm doing? TOM: Get it again? I love it, I love you Lydia, yes we do want to hear that again. ROB: Well done Lydia. LUKE: Oh okay, here we go: "He's a bucka-mhm-buckbuckbuck-mhm boy, Bucka-mhm-buckbuckbuck, I'm not your bucka-mhm-buck-mhm-buck-mhm...". LYDIA: I think it could be "I'm not your toy, you stupid boy". ALL: Yes. LUKE: That's right, well done. TOM: It is, again no singing there Lydia though - disappointing. LYDIA: I got two points already, it's already a draw. TOM: That is one point so... LYDIA: I'm being strategic. TOM: Well you're now on par with Rob, you just need one more point and you've got two songs to do. ROB: Yeah that's how well Lydia's doing in this round is she's managed to equal what I did and not sing yet. TOM: Yes. LUKE: That was of course Netta with TOY who represented Israel in 2018 - a very unforgettable performance that. ROB: As was yours. LUKE: Ah, thanks. So Lydia, are you ready for your next one? LYDIA: Yes.
LUKE: "I don't want tomorrow, oh baby tonight's so good, tonight's so good, this is one tough act to follow, oh tonight's so good..."
LYDIA: "Forget tomorrow, we can do tonight again". ALL: Yes. TOM: Again no singing, it's all in the strategy. LYDIA: I don't need to sing it. TOM: She doesn't need to, she's beating you now anyway but we're gonna do the next song afterwards. ROB: I reckon Lydia's had some much easier ones on this round. TOM: Don't go blaming the questions please. LUKE: That one was of course Guy Sebastian with Tonight Again, he performed for Australia in 2015. ROB: Australia's first Eurovision entry. LUKE: It was indeed. Alright Lydia, are you ready for your next one? LYDIA: I'm definitely ready. TOM: Cool.
LUKE: "And i know you're my every tomorrow and I know that you'll always be there...", what's the next line?
ROB: That's a difficult one. LYDIA: I don't need to know this right? TOM: You don't need to know this, you've already won, but you can take a... take a guess. LYDIA: Ah I have no idea if i know this song. TOM: Alright Rob do you want to guess? ROB: I have no idea. LUKE: Right so that was Mickey Harte 'We've Got the World'. He represented Ireland in 2003. ROB: Is there something in the fact that you're Irish and there are a lot of Irish artists in this round? TOM: You'll never guess who wrote the questions for this round... what was the next line Luke? LUKE: The next line was "we've got the world tonight, let's hold on together". TOM: Well there you go, but Lydia you did not need that because you have absolutely stormed that round and you've got another 10 seconds for the final endgame - congratulations!
TOM: So we're about to do the big final quiz and Lydia, I am very happy to say that you have got an extra 20 seconds added to your 60 seconds - so you've got 80 seconds. Whereas Rob has only got 70. So that's an extra 10 seconds advantage, I think you can get another... another question or at least another two questions in that. LYDIA: Hopefully. TOM: Are you optimistic? LYDIA: Um I'm not sure - it depends on if I'm going to be like lucky with the questions right? TOM: I think you'll do absolutely fine, Rob? ROB: I don't need the extra time - that's what we're going to find out from this. I'm going to be absolutely fine. If you'd have said at the start you're gonna have 70 seconds, I would have been happy but now i know that Lydia's got 80... I'm a little bit more nervous but it just makes it more of a challenge, that's fine. It doesn't mean I'm not gonna win, just makes it more of a challenge. TOM: Okay cool, and Lydia we're really rooting for you - please, please can you beat Rob, please? LYDIA: This is so much pressure. TOM: Whoever gets the most questions correct in this endgame wins the show so this is for everything. Don't want to put pressure on Lydia but this is where the pressure comes as to whether you're getting any sort of message or anything from from Francesco. LYDIA: I'm, i'm doing this for Francesco. TOM: Okay so your time starts as I read the first question - good luck Lydia, we're rooting for you.
TOM: So according to Eurovision, who is the first winner which we can consider an international hit? LYDIA: Uh Dominican... uh... TOM: No, no it wasn't. True or false, Cyprus have won eurovision. LYDIA: Tru... uh, false. (Correct buzzer). LUKE: Justin Hawkins competed to represent the United Kingdom in Eurovision in 2007, but what band does Justin Hawkins front? LYDIA: Skip. TOM: It was The Darkness. True or false, instrumental entries are allowed on Eurovision. LYDIA: False. LUKE: That's right. TOM: The winner of Eurovision 2004 was Ruslana from Ukraine but after the song contest who did Ruslana become an advisor to? LYDIA: Um the president? TOM: Oo we'll give you that - it was the Ukrainian prime minister. LYDIA: Okay. LUKE: How many people are on each national jury? LYDIA: Um four? TOM: It's five... in 2005, Eurovision celebrated its 50th anniversary by choosing its best song ever - what song was that? LYDIA: Waterloo? TOM: Yes it was. LUKE: In what year did Celine Dion win for Switzerland? LYDIA: Um skip. TOM: It was 1988. In what year did Spain, the United Kingdom [timer buzzes]... I've started so I'll finish. In what year did Spain, the United Kingdom, the Netherlands and France all finish first? LYDIA: 1968? TOM: It was 1969, sorry Lydia. LUKE: So close. TOM: So you got four correct, that was tough. LYDIA: That's not nice... TOM: Are you happy with that or not? LYDIA: I'm not happy. TOM: Ahhhh, but it all relies on Rob. He's got 70 seconds to get through as many as he can. Rob, are you ready? ROB: I'm ready, I think Lydia had some really difficult questions there. I'm ready - let's, let's just see how it goes. TOM: Your time starts when your first question is started, you've got 70 seconds.
LUKE: What was the name of Eurovision's first black contestant? ROB: Pass. TOM: It was Milly Scott. What was the first Eurovision song to be sung either wholly or partially in an imaginary language? ROB: Uh it was Belgium 2003, um pass. TOM: It was Sanomi by Urban Trad. ROB: Belgium 2003 damn it. LUKE: How long was the shortest song ever to be entered in Eurovision? I'll allow a leeway of five seconds either side. ROB: Oh one minute 49. TOM: It was one minute 26. True or false, no country that's ever performed second in the grand final has ever won in that same year. ROB: True. TOM: It's true. LUKE: Which dance show made its international premiere as the interval act at Eurovision in 1984? ROB: Riverdance. TOM: It was. True or false, Jessy Matador featured in Netflix's movie Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga. ROB: True. TOM: Yes. LUKE: In its history, only three women conducted the orchestra at Eurovision - name one of them. ROB: Pass. TOM: It was Nurit Nirsch, Monica Dominique or Anita Kerr. In Copenhagen 2001, the largest ever audience attended Eurovision but how many people were there? ROB: 39,000. TOM: Oh i'll give you that, it was 30... around 38,000. LUKE: In what year were the semi-finals introduced to Eurovision? ROB: 2004. TOM: It was. Name one country that has opted out of hosting Eurovision after winning? Uh Luxembourg. TOM: It was yep Luxembourg, I'd have also taken the Netherlands, France, Monaco or Luxembourg - you got six questions correct, Rob, your pride is intact. Sorry Lydia! LYDIA: Mine is not though. TOM: How are you feeling? LYDIA: Oh i'm not getting a message from Francesco, I'm... TOM: I... I mean I'll still see what i can do for you Lydia, I'll still see what i can do but how have you felt for being a contestant on... on The Euroquizion Games? LYDIA: A bit nerve-wracking. TOM: You, I think you've put on a good competition. Rob, what do you think? ROB: I think Lydia you've done a great job. I think you were unlucky with some of the questions in your... in your final round there but no - well done. But unfortunately just not quite good enough. LUKE: Awww. TOM: Well Rob, I'm not gonna lie - the biggest fear of ours coming into the recording studio today was that Rob was going to win no episodes so I'm quite glad that we've proved on episode one that he can win and maybe in the next episode he'll get taken down a peg. LUKE: I really hope so. TOM: Thank you Lydia for your time, thank you so much. LYDIA: Thank you.
TOM: So Rob, you won! ROB: I am delighted and also delighted to prove to you on the first episode that I really do know what I'm talking about. TOM: You do! I'm surprised, I'm surprised. LUKE: We need to make this harder Tom. TOM: We need to make it harder and believe me for episode 2 in two weeks' time - I can't even tell you how hard I've made it, I can't wait to see your reaction. ROB: Whoever you've got to take me on, look I've proved here today - you're gonna have to be someone who knows a lot about Eurovision to beat me. TOM: Ah - yeah yeah, yeah yeah. LUKE: Look at him there talking a big game still still still. TOM: I will say Lydia did an amazing job, I'm very... she was a great first contestant. ROB: There are no prizes for taking part however. TOM: Other than me trying to get in touch with Francesco, I mean I don't know how I'm gonna do it but I'll see what i can do. ROB: What do i get for winning, anything? TOM: Hang on, we said at the start. We said if you win more than half of the episodes, we'll come to Eurovision with you. LUKE: Yeah. ROB: Okay. TOM: Yeah that's what you get. ROB: Well maybe after doing this I don't want to spend that long with you. TOM: Well we'll see because you've got another five episodes. ROB: I'm confident, I'm confident. So far my record is one episode, one win - hundred percent win record. TOM: So the leaderboard is Rob - 1, Superfan - 0. That's a good leaderboard at the minute Rob, we'll see what he can do in episode two. Join us then and make sure to subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts from. LUKE: See you next time. TOM: Rob? ROB: Goodbye. TOM: Thank you for joining us, see you soon.
EPISODE TWO: ROB VS. TOM
TOM P: Hello and welcome to Episode Two of The Euroquizion Games. As a reminder, I'm Tom. LUKE: I'm Luke. TOM: And this is Rob Lilley. ROB: Hello... the winner of Episode One of The Euroquizion Games. TOM P: Yes. ROB: Well so far we've had an episode, I won - I've got a hundred percent win record so far... just bring it on, do your worst. TOM P: You're just getting more confident... LUKE: Yeah I don't like it. TOM P: Every episode it's getting worse. LUKE: I don't like it, it's just like it's going straight to your head. ROB: If you want to come up with some harder questions, some more difficult rounds - you're very welcome to. TOM P: Uh but as always the show will work like this - you will be pitted against a Eurovision superfan. You will take them on at three different rounds - all very fun rounds, we're gonna have a fun half hour - for each win, you get an extra ten seconds in our ultimate quiz endgame. Does it sound good? ROB: It sounds good, I'm ready to go, I'm confident and I'm excited. TOM P: The big thing is you at home... we want to know if you get any questions right, let us know whether a round was especially hard or easy - just get in touch. All our socials are available in the description below. Rob, shall we meet the contestant? ROB: Let's do it. TOM P: So your competitor this week loves Eurovision because it's a blend of everything he loves - music, dancing, geography... he calls it the homosexual Olympics. He thought Australia 2016 should have won, it was a daylight robbery. He made a Eurovision documentary at uni and interviewed Nicki French and Sally Ann Triplett for it, and he's also tripped on the stairs at London Eurovision Party... it's Tom Clift. So Tom, how are you? TOM C: I'm great, how are you? TOM P: All good, thank you, all good. Now can you tell us - why do you love Eurovision so much? TOM C: Well I mean it's just the campest thing ever, isn't it? I think when you grow up as a little gay kid looking at the TV trying to see yourself, and then every year there's this camp glitzy festival of everything - you're like there we go, that's where I belong. ROB: Tom I'm so pleased to be talking to a fellow trip-pee at the London Eurovision Party, I mean can you remember which step? TOM C: Oh stop really? ROB: Top... top step, bottom step? Can you remember which? TOM C: Well it's the ones that, you know, around the side... smack bang in the middle - I'm not gonna lie, I'd had three gin and tonics - and I... this lovely lady helped me up and I was like 'Oh my god, thank you so much', made eye contact with her and i was like oh right, that's Poli from Bulgaria. (laughs) And she was so sweet, I was like... I just didn't say a word. I was just glazed over by that point. TOM P: Were you mortified? TOM C: Oh it's horrendous. LUKE: We've all been there Tom, we have all been there. TOM P: Have you Luke? I was about to say... LUKE: I was gonna say, I haven't been helped up by Poli Genova. TOM P: No, no. LUKE: Yeah we've all tripped at some point, right? Um so actually I wanted to ask like... along those lines, you've obviously met Poli Genova but have you ever met anyone else who's appeared on Eurovision? TOM C: Well at uni, I did a documentary in my second year and everyone was like doing stuff about the war and doing like really serious stuff and I was like... I'm gonna do Eurovision! (laughs) ROB: It's often a bloodbath, so you're not far off. TOM C: Well there we go... I basically reached out to a few um ex-UK contestants, it was about like how the UK's fortunes had changed and I basically like did a deep dive into that and um I ended up getting to interview Nicki French and Sally Ann Triplett who um she was in a few groups, she was in uh Bardo and another group for the UK. And it was so fun and they were so lovely and uh I mean Nicki French is obviously an icon in the UK Eurovision community so meeting her - I just had to pretend, I was basically trying to be professional... pretend I wasn't that bothered about Eurovision and at the end, I was like 'Oh my god, I'm so excited to meet you!' and we had a photoshoot in the middle of London, crying. LUKE: So basically then I wanna I want to know a little bit more... know about this a little bit more - if you could appear on Eurovision yourself right, could you name one Eurovision act that you would be directly influenced by for your performance? TOM C: Right okay if I was going on, and let's face it I'd go in drag, so it would be Linda Martin. ROB: You wouldn't fancy like Verka - bit of a glittery number, that sort of thing? TOM C: No I need the glamour. (laughs) TOM P: Cool, so let me... let me run through how this is going to work Tom. So there's going to be three different rounds and for each round you win, you get an extra ten seconds in our big quiz endgame. So if you win all three rounds, you get an extra thirty seconds - so it'd mean you had ninety seconds in the endgame, because you both get sixty seconds as standard. But if you lose all three rounds for instance, Rob would have ninety seconds in the endgame and you'd only have sixty seconds - does that sound alright? TOM C: Got it. TOM P: And are you ready to play The Euroquizion Games? TOM C: Oo I think so.
LUKE: Our first round is... 'What's the Next Line?'. TOM P: Great, so in this game Luke will read out one line of lyrics from a Eurovision song. You simply need to say or sing the next line and if you sing it you get a bonus point, so don't forget to sing it, Tom. TOM C: (laughs) Oh no! TOM P: You can belt it or you can kind of murmur mutter it if you needsbe, but try and sing it. ROB: Like proper like Balkan ballad style. TOM P: Yeah. TOM C: Okay fine. TOM P: That would be great. TOM C: I'm home alone so it's gonna be full belt, don't worry. TOM P: Both of you will get five different songs and you get a point for correctly singing the next line in each song. I'll run through one person at a time, so Tom - do you want to go first or second? TOM C: Second. TOM P: Want to go second, okay. ROB: It's the second episode in a row I've been forced to go first, I don't like this. TOM C: I'm more than happy to be second because I want to see how it goes. TOM P: Yeah no worries, no worries. So Rob, we're gonna run through your five songs - alright? ROB: Okay, ready to go. TOM P: So Luke, it's time for the first line of the first song.
LUKE: "She was mine and we were sweethearts, that was then but then it's true."
ROB: Oh no... that's not that's not my guess, by the way. (laughs) TOM P: Oh no. LUKE: Oh no. ROB: Can I have the line again, please? LUKE: "She was mine and we were sweethearts, that was then but then it's true." ROB: I... I know the song so it's... it's Fairytale, uh. Oh can i please have it one more time? LUKE: Yep. TOM P: This is your last chance, I'm not letting you repeat it again. LUKE: "She was mine and we were sweethearts, that was then but then it's true." ROB: Oh no, um... we were... pass. TOM P: Ah, what was the line Luke? LUKE: I'm in love with a fairytale, even though... ROB: Oh what! TOM P: You could have got that, Rob. ROB: I didn't realise it was the chorus! LUKE: That was embarrassing. TOM P: Tom, did you know that? TOM C: I did, I'm useless at lyrics but I actually knew that one. TOM P: And of course Luke, what were the details? LUKE: That was of course Alexander Rybak who represented Norway in 2009 with the song 'Fairytale'. TOM P: So no points there Rob, here's your second song.
LUKE: "I live in no man's land with no way home, like you don't understand, cause you so here, you so there, not really anywhere, she said."
ROB: I have absolutely no idea. TOM P: What at all? LUKE: Yeah. ROB: At all. TOM P: Oh I'll go with that then, what were the lines? LUKE: This one was difficult, to be fair. The line after that was "Should have known better, now I miss you" and that was Soluna Samay 'Should've Known Better'. ROB: I like that song! TOM P: Rob if I can say so, you should have known better. (laughs) Yeah it's that sort of podcast, Tom - cheesy, cheesy. LUKE: And she of course represented Denmark in 2012. ROB: She did. TOM P: Tom, did you have an idea with that? TOM C: Absolutely not. TOM P: Okay, okay. ROB: This is... I'm, I'm feeling better that you also don't know them Tom - that's making me feel slightly better about it. TOM P: Here's your third song...
LUKE: "Say you miss me, come and kiss me, take me up to heaven and you won't regret it."
ROB: Take me to your heaven, hold on to your dreams. LUKE: ...no. ROB: Oh, so I've made a fool of myself for no reason. TOM P: You did sing that... what were the next lines, Luke? LUKE: You are the one, my number one... ROB: Ah! LUKE: The only treasure I'll ever have. ROB: Well they're both divas, just the wrong one! LUKE: That was Helena... ROB: Paparizou? LUKE: Paparizou, yes - 'My Number One', Greece 2005. ROB: Ah, I've embarrassed myself there. Well Tom, it shouldn't be too difficult for you to beat me in Round One! TOM C: (laughs) I had that one. TOM P: You had that one? TOM C: But I was... yeah I think so, yeah but I mean if anything with all those kind of songs you need to say 'Fire' or 'Desire' and you're halfway there anyway (laughs). TOM P: That is the case! Fourth song, your penultimate song, Rob.
LUKE: "All alone in the danger zone, are you ready to take my hand? All alone in the flame of doubt, are we going to lose it all?"
ROB: I mean I'm tempted just to say something with fire or desire in now after all of that. Oh it's... like everyone when you like I... I know it when you say it, but when you speak it like that it's hard. Go on, say it again. TOM P: That is the game. LUKE: Oh okay... "All alone in the danger zone, are you ready to take my hand? All alone in the flame of doubt, are we going to lose it all?" ROB: The... the song is 'City Lights'. Ah so the lyrics are... (sings) city lights?... I don't know. TOM: Go on, go on - say that again. ROB: (sings) City lights... TOM: No it was not (laughs). LUKE: The next lyric was "Looking in between the space in the city lights". ROB: Well half a point? TOM P: You're not getting any points, no. Not half a point! LUKE: You of course got the song right with 'City Lights' but that was Blanche, Belgium 2017. ROB: Or for our UK listeners - blanch. TOM P: So uh... so Rob, the world's biggest Eurovision Song Contest fan. ROB: According to me. TOM P: You've got zero points so far in Round One. ROB: It's a strong start. TOM P: So it... it all comes down to this final song for you. ROB: Okay. TOM P: Okay, are you ready? ROB: Yes.
LUKE: "When she go low, when she go low, she goes so low, she goes so low, oh, she know oh, oh, she know". ROB: And I was listening to this song in the car this morning. I think this is the next line... (sings) She's dirty dancing. TOM P: I'll give you that, I'll give you that - two points, what was it? LUKE: "She got me dirty dancing". ROB: Yeah we'll take it, I'll take any points at this stage. TOM P: So Rob, you end Round One with two points. LUKE: That is a great song, by the way - Luca Hänni, 'She Got Me' - represented Switzerland last year (2019). TOM P: Tom, do you think you can beat two points - that's the question? I think you've got a chance... TOM C: I don't know, I don't know - I'm getting the songs but it's so hard to know the lyrics. TOM P: It's that next line you need, it's that next line. Are you ready for your first one? TOM C: Uh huh. TOM P: Here you go.
LUKE: "I'm about to fall in head first, sisters let me show you how it works - hey!"
TOM C: (hums then sings incoherently) It's so annoying! TOM P: Do you want to hear it again? TOM P: Yeah, yeah. LUKE: To be fair, maybe if i add on the "Oh, oh - I'm about to fall in head first, sisters let me show you how it works - hey". TOM C: (sings) Got my lipstick on, here I come - du du dum. LUKE AND TOM P: Yes! TOM C: (screams) Oh my god. TOM P: I love it! So two points in the first song. LUKE: That was of course Jedward with the song 'Lipstick', they performed for Ireland in 2011. TOM P: Love it, Tom - love it! TOM C: I even did the sound effect for you! (laughs) TOM P: But so you're already on par with Rob, you only need to get one more question right in Round One. ROB: I should have known Jedward would play a part in my downfall (laughs). TOM P: Here's your next song.
LUKE: "Just wanna dance, dance, dance you off. So don't you dare, dare, dare wait up"
ROB: I think I've got this one. TOM C: Ah, can you repeat it? LUKE: Yeah "Just want to dance, dance, dance you off. So don't you dare, dare, dare wait up." I love this song. TOM P: Any ideas, Tom? TOM C: Oh... (hums)... I know the song, it's just I can't remember the lyrics (hums again)... cos I wanna (hums). TOM P: Ahhh... TOM C: Because I wanna feel the mood. TOM P: We'll give you that, we'll give you that. TOM P: Ah god!! LUKE: No it's uh yeah, it goes "Because I just wanna feel the mood, girl with anyone but you, and I might now, (sings) I might now." TOM C: Right. ROB: It was just like Benjamin Ingrosso was in the room. LUKE: I know! Yeah. TOM P: So four points - everything from now on is for pride, Tom. TOM C: Oh my god. ROB: You don't even have to... TOM C: I did so much better than I thought I would. ROB: You don't even have to sing if you don't want to, you've still won it. TOM P: So here's your third song, Tom.
LUKE: "You left me on a Sunday and I still remember that day in September".
TOM P: That's tough. TOM C: Oh god, this is a niche one. ROB: It is a niche one, I'm like you Tom - I feel like I know... I know the songs but I just don't know what comes next. TOM C: Yeah as soon as you say it, I know exactly what it is but god knows what the lyrics. Can you repeat it please? LUKE: Yeah "You left me on a Sunday and I still remember that day in September". TOM C: I don't know if I can even hum it. TOM P: You passing on that one? TOM C: Yeah. TOM P: Remember you don't need it. LUKE: So the song was Ester Peony 'On a Sunday'. She represented Romania last year (2019) and the lyrics after September go as follows "Yeah you left me on a Sunday, made sure there's no way, yeah to forget that day". ROB: I'd love to say it was on the tip of either of our tongues there Tom, but I don't think it was. TOM C: God no, I can't even hum it. TOM P: Right here's your fourth one, again just for pride.
LUKE: "I'll be there to keep you warm in the rain, I can make you happy again and again, there's no broken heart you can't mend, it's really easy and you will understand."
TOM C: I don't think I even know that song, could you repeat it? LUKE: Yeah - "I'll be there to keep you warm in the rain, I can make you happy again and again, there's no broken heart you can't mend, it's really easy and you will understand." TOM C: I don't know it, I don't... I don't even know the song. ROB: I've got no idea. [INCORRECT BUZZER] LUKE: So this was a fairly old one. ROB: (laughs) How old are we talking? TOM P: Not that old, I mean it is but it's not... LUKE: Older than the most recent ones. That was Manuel Ortega with the song 'Say a Word'. He represented Austria in 2002 and the lyric that followed understand was "Say a word and I'll be there". TOM P: There you go, but you weren't - neither of you would have got that. ROB: It's a lovely message... TOM C: No. ROB: Lovely message from Manuel but none of us are getting that, are we? TOM P: And so here's your last one, Tom.
LUKE: "I won't give you up, I'll never stop, I got a piece of your heart, I can't get enough."
TOM C: Oh when you started I thought it was a different song. I won't give you up... LUKE: "I won't give you up, I'll never stop, I've got a piece of your heart, I can't get enough." TOM C: Ah that's really thrown me off because I thought it was a different song so I'm now singing that tune. TOM P: Ah no, that's the worst. ROB: What song did you think it was? TOM C: I thought when he started I thought it was the UK 1983 "I'm never giving up, not giving in", I thought it was that. TOM P: No, not that one. TOM C: It's not, no I haven't got it then. LUKE: The song was 'I Do' by Fabrizio Faniello - he represented Malta in 2006... TOM C: Oh yeah. ROB: I do, I do... LUKE: Yeah. TOM P: Did you know that, Rob? ROB: I didn't know, I knew this... I know the song but I didn't know what came next. LUKE: And just for reference, what came next was "'cause I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I love you like a fool." ROB: Another one of Eurovision's complex lyrics (laughs). TOM P: So at the end of Round One - Tom you had four points, Rob you had two. Tom you win. You've... you're taking ten seconds through to the endgame, how are you feeling? TOM C: Yes, smashed it! I wasn't confident on that but I feel okay now. TOM P: Are you feeling more confident going into Round Two? TOM C: Oh yeah definitely.
TOM P: Luke, what's the next round? LUKE: 'Higher or Lower?' TOM P: Ooo we've not actually played this game yet in any of the episodes. You'll be given a starting song, eg. Adio by Knez - you must simply answer whether you think the next song Luke gives you received a higher amount of total points or a lower amount of combined points in their respective Eurovision Song Contest. They won't necessarily be from the same year. You will both have sixty seconds on the clock, okay... to get as many as you can. ROB: You heard my gasp there, I didn't realise this was a timed round. TOM P: It's a timed round, Rob. ROB: I feel under pressure. TOM P: Again Tom, I will ask do you want to go first or second? TOM C: I'll go first. TOM P: First... okay! TOM C: Yeah cocky! (laughs) TOM P: Before we start the timer, Luke - can you give Tom his first song. LUKE: Your first song Tom is Marie Line 'Où Aller'. TOM P: And how many points did that get? LUKE: Three points. TOM P: Three points (laughs)... three points. So the next question you're gonna get when the timer starts, Tom is a certain song - was it higher or lower? I think there's only probably one way to go - it's not impossible to be lower but I mean let's see. Are you ready for it, Tom? TOM C: Yeah. TOM P: I can tell this... this one's gonna be fun. Can you remind us of the first one please, Luke? LUKE: Marie Line 'Où Aller'. TOM P: And it got? LUKE: Three points. TOM P: Cool, your time starts... now.
LUKE: Voice with the song 'Nomiza'. TOM C: Higher. [CORRECT BUZZER] LUKE: Fabrizio Faniello 'Another Summer Night'. TOM C: Higher. [CORRECT BUZZER] LUKE: Vanna 'Strings of My Heart'. TOM C: Ooo... lower. [CORRECT BUZZER] TOM P: It was forty two. LUKE: Olsen Brothers 'Fly on the Wings of Love'. TOM C: Higher. [CORRECT BUZZER] TOM P: That was a hundred and ninety five. LUKE: Eamonn Toal, uh... 'Millennium of Love'. TOM C: Lower. [CORRECT BUZZER] TOM P: Ninety two. LUKE: 'One' By Gimme. TOM P: It was 'Gimme' by One, by the way. LUKE: 'Gimme' by One, sorry. TOM C: Er oo, lower. [CORRECT BUZZER] LUKE: Lydia with the song 'No Quiero Escuchar'. TOM C: Lower. [CORRECT BUZZER] TOM P: That was just one point. LUKE: Er Edea... [TIMER ENDS] TOM P: You started so you finish... LUKE: Edea with the song Aava. TOM C: Uh higher. [CORRECT BUZZER] TOM P: Yes they got twenty two. So you got eight right there, Tom. LUKE: Well done! TOM P: That... that was a good round, good round. ROB: Felt like you were too quick for Luke at certain points there, Tom. TOM P: Definitely too quick for Luke. (laughs) LUKE: Threw me off my toes several times. TOM P: Rob, eight points is quite a competitor I think. ROB: I think so, I think eight was very good in sixty seconds. TOM P: Very good in sixty seconds, are you ready to hear your first song? So this isn't the time starting, this is the first song. ROB: I'm ready. LUKE: Prime Minister with the song 'Northern Girl'. ROB: An absolute icon, yes I am ready - how many points did it get? LUKE: Fifty five. ROB: Okay. TOM P: So when Luke says the first word of the next song, your time starts - is it higher or lower than fifty five?
LUKE: So Chris Doran 'If My World Stopped Turning'. ROB: Lower. [CORRECT BUZZER] TOM P: Seven points. LUKE: Cara... Carola with 'Invincible'. ROB: Higher. [CORRECT BUZZER] TOM P: A hundred and seventy points. LUKE: Gracia with 'Run & Hide'. ROB: Lower. [CORRECT BUZZER] TOM P: Four points. Son de Sol with 'Brujería'. ROB: Higher. [CORRECT BUZZER] TOM P: Twenty eight points. LUKE: Uh Mélanie Cohl 'Dis oui'. ROB: Higher. [CORRECT BUZZER] TOM P: A hundred and twenty two. LUKE: Charlotte Nilsson 'Take Me to Your Heaven'. ROB: Higher. [CORRECT BUZZER] TOM P: A hundred and sixty three. LUKE: Precious 'Say It Again'. ROB: Ah... lower. [CORRECT BUZZER]. TOM P: Thirty eight. LUKE: Skamp 'You Got Style'. ROB: Higher. TOM P: No that was thirty five... [TIMER ENDS] TOM P: Rob, you got seven as opposed to eight. ROB: Ugh Tom, well done - you've done it again. TOM C: Thanks, so surprised. TOM P: You've got twenty seconds into the endgame now, that is a good lead - do you think you can make it thirty seconds so that you then have 90 seconds? TOM C: Oh I'm gonna try. TOM P: You gotta try... Rob? ROB: I need those extra 10 seconds, I really do - I can't have Tom having 30 seconds. He's beaten me twice already on this episode! TOM P: Right let's see what you can do going into Round Three.
TOM P: Luke, what is Round Three? LUKE: 'In The Shower with Luke'. TOM P: Ah! In this round, Luke has recorded himself singing in the shower. In each clip, he'll sing a different Eurovision song - it's your job to tell us the name of the song and the name of the artist. In the last episode, we did a completely confusing thing with points and I'm scrapping it. ROB: You're scrapping it?! TOM P: All that you need to do is tell us the name of the song and the name of the artist - you get a point for both! ROB: Okay. TOM P: Let's make it simple, shall we? ROB: Sure, let's do it. TOM P: Cool, Tom do you want to go first or second? This time we'll be bouncing between you both. TOM C: Uh I'll go second. TOM P: Cool. ROB: Just to warn you Tom, Luke's singing voice is quite something so... LUKE: Bad. TOM P: And he's not what I'd call a belter either like you were talking earlier Tom, I think he's doing the opposite of belting which is trying to be as quiet while singing as possible. LUKE: I just don't have your... you know, your pride Tom - I just can't. I don't have pride in my singing voice (laughs). TOM P: So Rob, this is your first song.
LUKE: ♪ So never let it go, never stop till you know we'll be reaching for the top tonight. Surrender to the beat, up and down in the heat - we'll be shakin', shakin' ♪
TOM P: What do you think it is? ROB: Oh no, I... again, I know it and you're gonna say it and then I'm gonna be like 'oh of course it is'. It was... so you don't want the country, do you - you want the artist? TOM P: Well we'll take the country, but I mean it won't help you. ROB: It won't help you either because it's not going to get me the answer. Um I think the year was 2002. TOM P: Not... we don't want the year either. ROB: Oh what do you want? TOM P: We just want the song and the artist. ROB: Oh well you're asking for too much, that's the problem (laughs). ROB: Uh I'm gonna say... no I'm not, I'm gonna pass. TOM P: What, none at all? ROB: No. TOM P: No... not even a guess? ROB: No. TOM P: That was Afro-dite with 'Never Let It Go'. TOM C: I had that one. TOM P: You had that one? Ahh... TOM C: Oh god, I wish that was mine. TOM P: Well let's see whether you can get your first song - here it is.
LUKE: ♪ I'm in love with a fairytale even though it hurts, 'cause I don't care if I lose my mind, I'm already cursed ♪
ROB: If there was anybody that needed an easy one, it was me (laughs). TOM P: Tom, have you got it? TOM C: I feel... I feel like if I didn't get that I'd be excommunicated from the Eurovision community (laughs). TOM P: Go on. TOM C: Alexander Rybak 'Fairytale'. TOM P: Yes! Two points to Tom. LUKE: That's right. TOM P: Rob... ROB: I'm livid about that! TOM P: Let's bounce it back to you and see whether you can get this next song.
LUKE: ♪ Let me fly and I will reach way up high, I will climb the steps that lead to the sky, where the clouds caress your face with my tears, let me try - I can fly ♪
LUKE: Ah that is embarrassing (laughs). ROB: Wow. TOM P: I love it! Tom, not for an answer but what do you think of Luke singing? LUKE: Oh god! TOM C: Oh it's beautiful, never heard anything like it. LUKE: Oh thanks Tom! ROB: Wow. TOM P: Don't know whether that was a compliment, Luke - don't worry. LUKE: Probably not (laughs). LUKE: Do you know what Tom, I'll come to you for advice about how to trip up stairs, yeah? (laughs) TOM P: Rob, do you know what song that was? ROB: I was pleased that we were trying to detract from the actual answer there because honestly Luke, as good as your singing was that's not helped... ah, um. TOM P: Can you get either? ROB: I can't, I can't - I'm gonna have to pass. TOM P: Do you want to guess? ROB: No I can't guess. TOM P: Ah well that was 'Let Me Fly' by Debbie Scerri... is that how you say her surname? ROB: I've never heard of any of that before in my life... LUKE: I think it's Scerri. TOM C: She wore that horrible green and purple dress, I remember it. TOM P: Yeah, I just got very scared that that wasn't a grand final song and that I'd just picked something random (laughs). TOM P: So Rob, that's another zero points. Tom, here's your second song.
LUKE: ♪ They might scare the blackbird but they cannot stop him sing, they may steal the honey but they'll never steal the sting, they may crush the flowers, trample every living thing, But they can't stop the spring ♪
LUKE: You can't see this, Tom but Rob is just shaking his head because he knows this one. TOM P: I hope you get it, Tom. TOM C: I... I didn't get it until the... the very last. ROB: You... you. TOM C: I had no idea. ROB: I mean you didn't get it until Luke gave you the answer at the end. TOM C: Until I literally heard the title. Um yeah, I mean it's 'They Can't Stop the Spring' by Dervish. TOM P: Yes another two points. ROB: I feel like there's been some sort of... I don't know, some conspiring against me on the other side of the desk. TOM P: Well Rob, you've got to do this for pride - you can't win this round but I want you to get this one right please. You ready for it? ROB: I'm ready.
LUKE: ♪ Never, never let you go, you are the one I’m searching for, flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone, love’s carving it in the stone. Never, never let you go, return the days we had before, soul of my soul, blood of my blood, love’s carving it in my heart ♪
LUKE: (cringes) ah god. ROB: Oooo that last night was like something... that was like a Josh Dubovie note, that was. LUKE: Oh god, I'm cringing as anything over here. ROB: Er, that was err - Dima Bilan, 2006, 'Never Let You Go'. TOM P: Yes so yeah so you've got two points, good. Tom you're still... you're mainly doing this for pride yet again and uh let's see how you get on...
LUKE: ♪ Let me try, let me try, I don’t wanna say goodbye, I will find a way to make you stay, just let me try ♪
ROB: There are cats running to the studio as we speak. LUKE: Go away. TOM P: Tom, any idea? TOM C: Uh it's 'Let Me Try'. TOM P: Yes... TOM C: I'm not 100% sure on the... how to pronounce it... it's Romania 2005, I know that. Is it Luminita Angle/Angel? TOM P: Yeah yeah... and Sistem, I'll give you that. Two points... TOM C: Alright! TOM P: You've got the full six there, Rob - you had two. ROB: I was... I was just happy with the two, I'm just happy to be here - I'm like... I'm like a labrador, I'm just grateful of the fresh air. TOM P: But it all means nothing until the endgame.
TOM P: So it's that time. Tom, I'm gonna run through quiz questions with you - just general Eurovision knowledge. But you have added thirty seconds to your time, which means you've got a whole ninety seconds to get as many questions right as possible. I'll read a question then Luke will read a question and we'll try and get through as many as possible. How are you feeling about your chances? TOM C: I mean way more positive than in the beginning, I feel good yeah. TOM P: Good, I mean ninety seconds is a lot of time. TOM C: Oh I'm gonna be laughing, I'll put my feet up. TOM P: Yeah, yeah. ROB: You just take your time over these answers, Tom - take as long as you want (laughs). TOM P: Your time will start when Luke reads the first question, does that sound alright? TOM C: Hm. TOM P: Are you ready for your first question? TOM C: Yep, yeah.
LUKE: What year was Eurovision first broadcast in colour? TOM C: 1968. TOM P: It was! In 1968, Spain's entry 'La La La' contained how many 'La's, I'll allow a leeway of twenty. TOM C: Ooo... a hundred and sixty? TOM P: No it was a hundred and thirty eight. LUKE: Who is the youngest ever winner of Eurovision? TOM C: Sandra Kim. TOM P: It is... Ireland has won Eurovision more than any other country, but what year was their most recent win? TOM C: Uh 1996. TOM P: It was. LUKE: What's the largest number of nations to ever take part in a single Eurovision? TOM C: Forty three. TOM P: It was... In 1987, Liliane Saint-Pierre represented Belgium with the song 'Soldiers of...' what? TOM C: Love. TOM P: Yes. LUKE: At Dublin in 1997, which boyband member hosted Eurovision? TOM C: Ronan Keating. TOM P: It was... Yugoslavia's only victory came in 1989, what was the name of the song? TOM C: 'Rock Me'. [CORRECT BUZZER] LUKE: In 1991, two countries finished with a hundred and forty six points - Carola for Sweden took victory, thanks to having more sets of ten points than which other country? TOM C: France. TOM P: Yes! Debuting... debuting at the inaugural edition of the contest in 1956, France has participated on all but two occasions - how many of these entries have been sung entirely in English? TOM C: None. TOM P: Yes. LUKE: LT United represented Lithuania in 2006 with the song 'We Are the Winners' - where did they actually finish in the grand final? [TIMER ENDS] TOM C: Six. TOM P: Correct, that... LUKE: God, Tom! TOM P: Was damn good, Tom! Damn good! TOM C: I dunno what came over me. TOM P: You got ten correct. TOM C: Woo. TOM P: That is an amazing, amazing attempt. LUKE: Oh my god. ROB: I... I don't think. TOM C: Is it? ROB: I don't think there's any point of me trying, is there? TOM P: Rob, you're really gonna have to do something to win this episode! ROB: Ugh right, so I need... I need a correct answer every six seconds to tie (laughs). TOM P: And er... much like Tom, your time starts when Luke reads the first question. Are you ready? I'm (laughs) yeah... yeah sure, let's try.
LUKE: Belarus debuted in 2004 and... but has only finished in the top 10 of a grand final once, which song performed by Dmitry Koldun achieved that accolade? ROB: Oh it was in 2007 but I can't remember the name... pass. TOM P: It was 'Work Your Magic', debuting in 2007 following the breakup of Serbia and Montenegro, what was the only year that Serbia has not taken part in a contest? ROB: 2006. TOM P: 2014. LUKE: What was the name of Azerbaijan's first song they entered into the contest back in 2008? ROB: Oh for goodness sake, this is going terribly well - I know the song, pass. TOM P: 'Day After Day'. Known for their worldwide hit 'All The Things She Said', t.A.T.u. represented which country in Riga 2003? ROB: Russia. TOM P: It was. LUKE: What are Jørgen and Noller better known as? They were the second act to win the contest for their country. ROB: The Olsen Brothers. TOM P: Correct. Only two Eurovision winning songs have contained a year in the title, '1944' by Jamala was one, what was the other? ROB: Pass. TOM P: It was Insieme with '1992'. LUKE: Niamh Kavanagh won... won for Ireland in 1993 with 'In Your Eyes', what was the name of the song she performed... [TIMER ENDS] LUKE: ...when she returned... when she returned to the contest in 2010. ROB: Pass. TOM P: 'It's For You', your time is up Rob. ROB: So I mean... it's 10 vs 2 (laughs). TOM P: Oh my god, Tom - well done! That... that deserves a round of applause, that was incredible - insane! LUKE: Brilliant. ROB: I doth my Eurovision, Melodifestivalen crown to you - well done, sir. TOM P: So it is now Rob - one, superfan - one and that's all because of you, Tom - thank you, we... we needed to knock him down a peg or two. How do you think you did... well you know you did amazing - what did you think to being on the show? TOM C: Oh my god, it's crazy - I was actually surprised. Oh you know what, when I saw all the games I thought there's no way I'll be able to do the lyrics. TOM P: But you did, you managed it. TOM C: There we go. TOM P: Yeah. TOM C: Yeah . TOM P: And I'll tell you what... TOM C: Smashed it. TOM P: Next time there's a Eurovision pub quiz, I am bringing you along. LUKE: Yeah absolutely. TOM C: I'll probably be there anyway... TOM P: Well yes, yeah - but I'm sitting on your table, is that alright? (laughs) ROB: I'm getting left at home now. TOM P: Yeah you are, you are. Thank you so much Tom for your time, thank you for being on the show. TOM C: Thanks guys, it's great.
TOM P: Rob, what did you think to that? ROB: That was embarrassing, I'm beginning to think that Episode One was beginner's luck but Tom was incredible, wasn't he? TOM P: He was insane, you got absolutely spanked. LUKE: Yeah you were absolutely annihilated. TOM P: I'm not gonna lie, I thought Luke was gonna go somewhere else with that - you were absolutely... crap (laughs). ROB: Ah I need to uh... yeah I need to regain any sort of pride in the... in the third episode. TOM P: I mean I told you Episode Two was gonna be tough. ROB: And you weren't wrong. TOM P: But... Episode Three is gonna be something else, I can't even begin to tell you. I'm so excited for you to find out who I've got for you. ROB: I'm terrified, I'm absolutely terrified - I'm, I'm looking forward to it but wow, yeah I mean I really need to up my game. TOM P: So subscribe anywhere you get podcasts, whether that's Spotify, Apple Podcasts or any other major podcast platform - we'll be with you in two weeks with... and i don't want to undersell it... a fantastic contestant. See you then.